When I say that you were more than a motivation to me for this camp, I am not kidding. The day before, I didn't felt like going to SSC. Truth be told, I initially wanted to skip the camp, cause I was too tired and I didn't want to screw up, or even get my ass off the bed to do it, but your sms on 30.08.08, 12.02 a.m., quote "I wanna see a staff sgt louisse." made me change my mind completely. I slept early, woke up early, packed my stuff and left home to meet the others at McDonald West Mall, 6 am. I even brought my handphone, caused I wanted to keep in touch with you. So, yeah, I went to camp, ready to meet whatever and whenever. Haha.

Kept smsing you during the day and throughout the whole thing, I was so waiting so hard for night to come so I could sms you freely. Lectures came and most of the time, I was smsing you and waiting for your reply. And sigh, I missed talking to you, really. Sigh. Yeah. First day was naught but lectures and learning. Learned a few advanced foot and arms drill, like marching into a parade square and formation of squad for mutual. Smsed you during lunch, dinner and etc. Then, night came and smsed you freely. Best night of my life for a long time now. I really missed you, missed you calling me dearest, promising me everything would be alright. It would always make me face tomorrows without a problem.

Then, the next morning, I forgot to set my alarm, but thankfully, you really woke me up at 5am and called me. God I missed your voice. Hearing it again made me smile so much. Haha. What a great way to start the day. Woke up, got dressed, kept smsing you, and whatever. Yeah, continued to sms you, even during my Foot Drill mutual. Now, there was a cock-up there. I was supposed to do ke blakang bo seng, but I did berhanti instead. I was so ticked off at myself, and once again, you helped me get through it. Thanks... Sorry about Farhan, though. I didn't know you wanted to keep it a secret.

The night after that, talkted to you again, and yeah... I loved those nights. The next morning, however, everything started to screw up, and I'm sorry for that. I'm just worried, that's all. I don't want to lose you again. Please, talk to me again? I really missed you and the past few days with you has been great. I don't want it to end, again.

I don't think I can handle it again.

I know I'm supposed to be talking about the special specialist course, but who gives a shit's ass about that. You matter more than the rank does now...