"Break It Down Now!"

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Never before...

Ugh... I feel totally fucking miserable at the moment..And I don't give a shit what you think about that. Say what you wanna say, think what you wanna think, but fuck it, life's been totally fucked up nowadays.

I'm not gonna lie, the past few months have been real demanding for me and I've been struggling so hard. My parents are not getting any better in their relationship and a divorce seems eminent. As if that's not enough, everything in school, home, friends, everything's trying to get a bite out off me.

I've never succeeded in making my parents proud.
I've never succeeded in getting the same respect that I give people.
I've never succeeded in finding a friend that would really always be there for me.
Will I always be the one that everyone vents their anger and drown their misery on? I'm getting fucking sick and tired of it. I'm tired of being the nice guy who doesn't hit back when hit, who doesn't mind being at the suffering end of another person's ordeal, I'm tired of being myself.

And yet, I can't seem to move on about you. You're always on my mind, no matter how many times, and how many people, I tried to replace you in my heart, but they never seem to knock you out of place. You have no idea how much you mean to.

I've just been holding onto a string I made for myself, trying to hold on and not fall. You came along, you know, with a rope. And I let myself fall to catch your rope, but not long after, you let go of it and let me fall. These scars in my heart, and on my body, will remind me of the fall. Please, I'm begging you, let down your rope and pull me out of this.

I don't wanna suffer anymore. I don't wanna be alone anymore. I don't wanna be lied to anymore.

Please...

dancethenightaway
7:56 PM

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